soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I could fuck to npr.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
