i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
