Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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