That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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