Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
