you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
