I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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