id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
