I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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