next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
