garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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