Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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