wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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