My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
