no, he came in my armpit
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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