I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
