she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
