She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Watching her eat just hurts me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
