i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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