how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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