at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize