we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Found your dick twin last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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