We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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