i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
