So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize