everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
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I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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