2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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