his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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