please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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