But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
