I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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