if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
