im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Someone signed my nipple.
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