I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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