We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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