Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
