Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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