I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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