I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
