Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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