KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
