did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
