I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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