You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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