I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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