is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.