i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Naked. naked and bneed help.
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