Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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  (816): His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court http://tfl.nu/ow7w
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (1281)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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  (586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2782) Bad night (1045)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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  (612): I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles http://tfl.nu/ysmu
  Replies (19) Good night (1311) Bad night (5017)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (737) Bad night (3756)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.

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  (860): Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth. http://tfl.nu/vl66
  Replies (16) Good night (1394) Bad night (5848)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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  (512): I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed. http://tfl.nu/z4ve
  Replies (17) Good night (4290) Bad night (1872)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?

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  (815): Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers? http://tfl.nu/gqlt
  Replies (9) Good night (2525) Bad night (1290)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..

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  (828): Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask.. http://tfl.nu/ioqq
  Replies (8) Good night (608) Bad night (2549)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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  (214): My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/7yfd
  Replies (4) Good night (1857) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (1454) Bad night (536)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers

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  (780): It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/8ucr
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (414)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

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  (318): I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off http://tfl.nu/iq1g
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That does not seem like timing

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  (347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (542)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment

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  (513): I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment http://tfl.nu/26yo
  Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?

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  (315): You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen? http://tfl.nu/8ha5
  Replies (21) Good night (843) Bad night (334)

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