dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
