i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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