i think my mom watched the whole time
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
