it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
