His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
