And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
