just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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