It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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