you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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