Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
