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I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Randomize
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