At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life