new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.