We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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