am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
