I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
