Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
