How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
